Still Not Dead Thanks to DFCI

Hello Friends,

Just in case you were beginning to wonder...I'm still kicking! Life is good. I've finished my treatment. I'm working part time. I'm exercising. I'm gardening. I'm enjoying time with family and friends...what else is there?

How many times have you heard about a person with cancer (I try to avoid the phrase, "cancer victim". I don't really feel like a "victim.") saying something like, "I'm just grateful for each and every day." Well, I'm not sure I feel like that. I'm not sure that my gratitude for days has changed much over the last year and a half. I am, I suppose, more focused on finding ways to be happy every day. I'm doing a good job at that. I am happy. (That was strange. I'm not sure I have ever written those words before. Not that I haven't felt that way. I've enjoyed lots of happiness in my life. But I may not have ever said so in writing.  Strange for someone who tends to overshare, at least, when writing.)

Enough introspection for one day - it may detract from my happiness.

So, as I mentioned, I finished my treatment. I want to share with you a thank you letter I wrote to my health care team at Dana Farber. Spread the word. They are great. And if you ever wonder which cancer organization you should donate to, donate to your local cancer research institution. It is researchers and research subjects who improve care and treatment for cancer.

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THANK YOU

I have breast cancer. Invasive ductal carcinoma. HER2 positive, stage 2.  I got this news on January 18, 2011. I had bi-lateral mastectomy on February 14. I began chemotherapy in March. I finished chemotherapy in July. I began radiation treatment a couple of weeks later.  I completed radiation in September 2011.  I received Herceptin for 12 months.  I completed Herceptin on April 30, 2012. I will take one Arimidex tablet every day for the next four years if I live that long, and I feel pretty confident that I will, thanks to my health care and 21st century medicine.

Not a very original story. Health professionals at Dana Farber can treat people like me with their eyes closed. But they don’t.  Everyone I interacted with at DFCI treated me with their eyes, their hearts, and their minds open. 

By everyone I mean everyone: Every employee, from the parking level to the first floor information desk, to the lab and to the 9th floor staff.  Each one of you helped me to feel safe, cheered, respected and cared for. I frequently told my family and friends that the whole cancer thing was nowhere near as awful as one might imagine because of these good people.

It isn’t easy getting to 3 or 4 medical appointments a week, and the DFCI staff knows this like they’ve all been doing it themselves. They did everything they could to minimize the frustration, anxiety and discomfort. I don’t think I ever had a parking problem before any of the 60? 70? 80? appointments I had over the last 18 months. Never did I meet an unfriendly receptionist. Every person behind a desk would welcome me with smiles, candy and reassurance if I looked like I needed it.  I remember one day I arrived late for an appointment. The receptionist said, “Don’t worry, sweetheart. You’re fine. It doesn’t matter when you show up so long as you always show up.”

I grew to almost like my time in the chemo chair. Friendly, caring people would bring me heated blankets, snacks and stuff to read.  I would turn on the heat, turn on the massage, snuggle under the warm blankets, eat my snack, and do my crossword puzzle. Now and then a kindly medical professional would do what was necessary to get medicine into me. Rarely did I feel any discomfort or fear. The time spent by nurses to prevent nausea, headaches, chills,  anxiety, adverse reactions of any kind demonstrated that these concerns were at least as important as giving me the drugs. No one could ever say that the staff at DFCI treats the disease and not the patient.

I don’t know how rare this kind of treatment may be. DFCI is the only place where I have been treated for this disease. But I feel lucky and grateful.

Thank you Hal for designing my treatment and for respecting  me and my family enough to explain the research behind the treatments I received. Thank you Carla for taking every step possible to minimize my discomfort and for distracting me with stories of life with young children. Thank you Anne, Jade, Maryann, Amy and every other nurse who struggled to tap my thin, “valvy” veins with the least amount of discomfort. Thank you Drs. Golshan and Hergrueter for looking for and removing  as much of the cancer as could be found, while minimizing pain and disfigurement to the extent possible. Thank you Dr. Harris for explaining the value of radiation based on all of the characteristics of my disease, and for designing a treatment that took all that information into consideration.  Thank you Varian machine staff for your efficiency, flexibility and good taste in music.  Thank you cleaning staff for ensuring the restrooms, kitchens, hallways, examination rooms are clean, germ free and safe.

And thank you to administrators and decision makers who decided to invest in services that were so precious to me during the last year and a half. Services such as parking spots on the valet floors for radiation patients, chemo chairs with heat and massage functions, push carts full of snacks and books, comforts for the poor people who accompany the cancer patients.  And thank you to the volunteers throughout the hospital offering support, advice and directions. What kindness, thoughtfulness and imagination went into these comforts.

Thank you, finally, to all of the research subjects and researchers who help advance the science of cancer treatment.

Although my most fervent wish is to never see you again, when my anxieties collect and begin to ooze through my worn out veins, I am soothed by the thought that you all are there at Dana Farber ready to make me feel better.