The Hair

Dearest Bloggees,

As promised, I am posting the photos of the hair odyssey. Most of these pictures were taken Sunday, March 20, 2011 when the first of clumps of hair began to drop. I panicked. Time to cut it off so I don't have to endure the full brunt of the ugly denudation.

I confess that I have not enjoyed this experience. Even more than chemo it brings home the not so terrific predicament that I am in. The surprising thing about losing your hair is that it sort of hurts. I hadn't expected that. It also makes me feel paranoid.When I go to the grocery store, the drug store, the coffee shop, I feel like people are staring. I may be imagining this. I want to do these chores, to live my life as normally as possible,but my appearance is shouting, THAT LADY HAS CANCER, so loudly that I can't concentrate on what I am doing. I forget to bring home the thing I bought. I leave my wallet at the check out counter. I forget to buy the thing I left the house to get....It's scary. Chemo brain some call it, but I don't think so. I think its just that I am rushing to avoid the run-in with the casual acquaintance. How will that conversation go?

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Amy: Hi Jane (I am using a fake name here to protect the innocent? Any resemblance to a real person is purely coincidental.)
Casual acquaintance, Jane: Hi there. (Not remembering my name and unable to place the bald-headed women with the slightly swollen nose and greenish complexion.) How are you?
Amy: (This is where I am really at a loss...Great? Been better? Not so good, I have cancer? Not bad, considering I have cancer? Fine, except that our plumbing is on the fritz, and I haven't been able to wash my hair for a while which is why I have to wear this funny scarf?) How are you?

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The only places where I don't feel conspicuous are at the hospital and at shops that cater to cancer patients. Not places where I am eager to hang out more than is absolutely necessary.

Well, no point in further belaboring this loss. Here are the photos, without air brushing.

  Before taking action.

 Pigtails in preparation for the lop off. Looking slightly hysterical.

 Forget the pigtail-lop-off approach. Just hack at it.

The husband admiring his handiwork. The wife looking a little sick.

Husband increasingly proud of his creation, takes close up shot. 

The sad wreckage.

Today

I still have some hair. If I go completely bald I will be sure to add the photo. Please note, not everything is deteriorating. My nose and eyes are starting to clear up. Maybe that is the silver lining to tripping over the dog two weeks ago. Having the opportunity to observe improvement in the midst of decline.

Oh, and the wig...

Thanks everyone for listening. No need to tell me that I look great. I'm doing okay, and feel no inhibition about being bald in front of you!

Lots of love,
Amy